"Please. Let's not do this to each other." In an Oprah Magazine article by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love, those are the words said by one mother to another when one mother watches the other organize a scavenger hunt and claims, "I'll never be as good of a mother as you."
Yes, please. Let's not do this, Gilbert follows....And I say, comparison--comparing ourselves to one another particularly as women, today, is Epidemic. Whether it is our mothering, our careers, our special needs parenting...how well we do anything we do. It can be so easy to find someone who does it...Better. Or...that we judge "better."
When I used to scrapbook (as I did for 10 years, amassing about 60 gorgeous, artistically created scrapbooks) one of my Creative Memories scrapbook consultants would assure us scrapbookers that we each have our own life demands and priorities and that comparing how well someone else scrapbooked or how much they got done or how creative or beautiful their pages...it was pointless and unfair to ourselves to compare our accomplishments to anothers'. (You, see, even though I created beautiful albums aplenty, I still compared myself against those whom I judged as doing it "better." The problem was not "them" it was my attitude and how I viewed ME.)
My scrapbooking group leader was so right. In the parenting arena, some parents have more help. Some of have partners. Some of have more physical and emotional energy. To some being a mother comes more naturally. The deal, I think, is not to pick out what we each think we do less well than another, comparing our perceived "lack" to another's perceived abundance--but, rather, to remember, to know and to celebrate and hold dear that which we do best.
It's not about being being as Good As, but Good Enough. We don't have to be "Perfect" in the World's standards. Those ideals are just that and they are not fair. And neither is comparing. To me, the aim is to go within and know one's own strengths. And comparing? Fuhget about it. Here's to a New Year of Knowing what we each do best and bringing that and our Confidence to the Buffet of Life!
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I have written about the dangers of comparison twice on "The Journey with Grace": "The Never-neverland of Comparison"
Thank you for reading, Lisa & Happy New Year to you!
Posted by: Leisa A. Hammett | January 15, 2012 at 07:08 PM
Excellent post! We all need these reminders.
Posted by: Lisa ~ AutismWonderland | January 11, 2012 at 09:59 AM