I'm getting better at this. I had a third-morning-in-a-row worry-fear-anxiety visitor today. Growing stronger, I was able to shoo it away by repeating to myself a few times "present-time consciousness." And, then I was able to come out of my meditation in peace.
I had a long talk with my teacher this morning. Aha! The worry-fear-anxiety boogeyman schlepts up from my subterranean (subconscious) vault based on old, negative childhood experiences. I have attached old experiences to present day circumstances and so old feelings arise when I consider what I need to do. Big reveal. More basement cleaning to do. Have discovered the source of the stink. Yay!
This summer I enrolled in the Vanderbilt Kennedy Center's (Special Needs) Parent Stress Intervention Program. A related tip I learned, which I sometimes use in my meditation practice, is breathing deeply and then quietly saying the word "NOW" in the out breath. When I listen to the word as it exhales slowly, it does center me to the present moment.
And the photo of Radnor lake, above, reminded me of a quote I once read stating the ease of being present when one is immersed in nature. How can you not be when you take in your surroundings, questioned the author. I agree. A gratitude practice can have the same effect. How can we not be present in the current moment when we realize that we are blessed by what we do have, even if it is the air we breathe and the sky above us?
(This post was written in August.)